If you read this, you will know that I do not write them. Someone drives my right hand against the will of its owner. This “someone” does not give me rest, forcing to take paper and pen, alone at night on the second floor of a small country house.
Pen quickly glides over the paper, leaving her hasty and sometimes illegible mark. It obviously has no time for thought. Probably the one who sits in my head was in a hurry. It drives away sleep, makes us forget about the food, allowing me to occasionally smoke a hurry just one cigarette. It was only when his fingers, holding a pen, begin to numb and on paper the words appear terrible scrawl, the thought suddenly cut off.
I put the pen on the desk and lean back in his old chair. At the head of a vacuum. Absolute emptiness. Its urgent need something to fill in and I quietly turn to music. But “someone” is watching, trying, and in this state to control me. He chooses only those tunes that need it. So I once had to shake up your entire music collection and make up a playlist of the songs and compositions, which he likes to listen to such moments.
How it all started …? Perhaps with loneliness. Rather, with the desire to be alone …
At some point, it’s fatigue from communicating with other people. Especially strong are oppressing and noisy crowd of drunken feast. I think that “someone” at that time had already settled in my mind. And he was obviously not to the liking were flashing before my eyes the person surrogate alcohol and stupid ranting of my companions. He started to protest, awarding me a terrible headache the morning after which I could not for many days to even look at alcohol. But birthdays, as well as the New Year, it was impossible to cancel, and I began each time with the fear of approaching these expected events.
Attempts not to take alcohol to such solemn occasions to no good no avail. When a company has a non-drinking drunk, all those present with double and triple energy trying to drink it, sincerely believing that their refusal, he expresses his contempt of the entire company.
My “someone” did not want to die. He invented a device that allowed the most terrible of the wash solution is similar to get alcohol, but with completely different characteristics. By experimenting with different fruits and berries, he made me write the recipe alcoholic drink of the divine strength and sixty degrees. Its effects on the body was striking. This “rum” instantly warmed up the blood, creating a feeling of light intoxication, but it had no effect on the brain.
Now I could sit at the banquet table, not feeling like a “black sheep” and watching with interest the process of intoxication throughout the company. By the way, and his degree of intoxication I felt fine, too. This showed that my brain was not poisoned, and that keeps the whole situation under control.
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